3 Things All Parents of Teens Should Know
We all know that the teen years can be a very challenging time when parents and teens may feel anxiety and confusion as they navigate the “new territory” of adolescence. But these years are also an exciting time when young people get to experience many significant rites of passage—like earning a driver’s license and feeling the sense of pride that comes with a hard-earned paycheck.
For parents, this transition can be difficult and confusing. Some parents describe their teenagers as withdrawn or less involved in family time. They even experience feelings of loss and longing for the past when they felt more in touch with their children.
In my practice, I encourage parents to remember three things:
Your teenager does want to stay connected to the family. In fact, they need you now more than ever. However, they also need time alone and apart from the family to establish their own identity as an individual.
Figuring out the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is a full-time job for a teenager. According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, adolescence is the time we work the hardest to develop our identity. On top of all that, teenagers carry the responsibility of completing their educational requirements and setting goals for the future.
Social development is an important hallmark of the teen years. During this time, young people shift their focus to building and deepening their relationships with friends. It is easy to underestimate the emotional energy it takes for them to work on and maintain friendships. Though this process can be stressful, it’s a wonderful part of being a teenager that often results in life-long friendships. When I work with teens and parents in my practice, I witness this whole process in action.